Category: College And Career

Knowledge versus experience

7/18/2016

My dad is the smartest man I know. Not only does he know the answers to most Jeopardy questions, he can also build anything, fix anything, sell everything, read people, problem solve, question the status quo, inspire others, crack jokes, remember just about fact every he’s ever heard, debate with the best of them, and invent ingenious products, in theory, every day. When I think of “smart,” he’s my benchmark.

Therefore, when I saw a graphic this past week made up of two frames, the thought of him helped me make sense of what I was viewing. In this graphic, the frame on the left was titled “Knowledge”; it was a simple box with a black outline, filled with random black dots. The frame on the right was titled “Experience”; this second box was exactly like the first with a simple black outline, filled with random black dots, but in this box the dots were all connected by thin black lines.

A simple graphic on the surface. Profound in its meaning for education.

My dad is the epitome of the “Experience” box. Sure, he would do well on Jeopardy because of his great memory for miscellaneous factoids, but it’s because of his life experiences he is so smart. It has been his experiences that connect his dots; his experiences that allow his knowledge to shine. Without a lifetime of opportunities to put his knowledge of math, English, history, language and science to work, these subjects he learned back in the 1950’s would be meaningless. Because he had opportunities in his life to work with the earliest computers, travel the world in the Navy, and experiment with his career, he can seamlessly make connections between seemingly disconnected events. He can find solutions to insurmountable challenges. He can make sense of the senseless.

What does all this mean for education, though?

It means our kids need opportunities to put their knowledge to work, because it’s these opportunities that will become the experiences, creating a generation who can build, fix, sell, question, inspire and invent. Our kids needs these experiences during school – time to volunteer, work part time, build small businesses, invent new programs, solve real problems, grow gardens, take apart old electronics, swim, play, travel. With these experiences, and with us supporting them along the way, our kids will walk out of high school with more than just a box filled with historical dates, comma rules, and memorized facts.

Our teachers can help by providing assignments with real audiences. They can stop with the meaningless, rote homework. Stop with the quiz, after test, after assessment cycle. Stop with the mundane worksheet lessons recycled year-over-year.

As a community, we need to ask our schools to start helping our kids not only fill the box on the left, but also make connections between those dots in order to ensure their success in our interconnected world. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Thanks, Dad, for reminding me that facts are the foundation, but it’s in the experience wherein the wisdom lies.

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Ruminations on the 4th

7/4/2016

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Hot dogs, watermelon, barbeques, apple pie, pool parties, bike parades and fireworks. Nothing is more American than the 4th of July.

Whenever I think about the 4th of July, I wonder, in addition to what time the grill will be ready, what it must have been like back in 1776 during the time of Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, a group of like-minded men who were venturing into an independence untested and unprecedented. They didn’t know the future as a certainty. They didn’t know how their Declaration would play out. They didn’t know their own role in how they were changing the world. They only knew they had a problem that needed solving.

From some of the greatest thinkers in American history is a lesson. A lesson from which we can all learn a little something about how to help our kids be their best selves.

The 4th of July brings families together and inevitably brings questions from long-lost Aunt Martha and Uncle Ron targeted at our kids intended to make small talk. I remember these questions from my childhood like they were yesterday. One stands out among the rest: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I even find myself asking this same question of kids when I try to make small talk; it just rolls off my tongue.

This past weekend I spent some time wondering about this question. What is it really asking? What do the adults really want to know? What does it suggest? I came away thinking that the question implies that our kids are destined to work for others. That they will become a cog in a larger machine: doctors who work for hospitals, engineers who work for cities, teachers who work for school districts, managers who work for Fortune 500 companies. Do these “jobs” create fulfillment? Do these “jobs” keep us happy? Or are they jobs that simply require us to take a laundry list of classes to satisfy some requirement established by an unknown entity, so we can work until it’s time to retire?

I got to thinking that the question should be much different. The question should be, “What problem do you want to solve when you grow up?” A question like this gets kids thinking about passion and intent. This questions lends itself to helping our kids discover their educational purpose. Their learning becomes less about completing the laundry list and more about gaining the skills they are going to need to solve their identified problem: doctors who want to cure cancer, engineers who want to build reservoirs for clean water in third world countries, teachers who want to eradicate illiteracy, businessmen who want to build systems to make commerce more readily accessible to everyone.

This is the work that isn’t just a job, work that creates fulfillment and potentially changes the world.

My argument is simply that with a mindset focused on solving problems, we will have kids more engaged in their schooling, more aware of the world around them, more focused on building skills, more interested in gaining interconnected, cross-curricular experience than just memorizing isolated bits of knowledge.

When I talk to people about the future of education, this is the conversation I’m going to start having. This is conversation that will get our schools to start thinking outside of the 200-year-old box of classes in isolation and content for the sake of content, rather than for the sake of intent.

When I think back to Jefferson, Adams and Franklin, I am again struck by the problems they solved. Could they have dreamed up our Declaration of Independence simply by wanting be a writer or a politician “when they grew up”? I don’t think so.

When you sit down for your next barbeque, I hope I’ve given you one more nugget to chew on.

Happy 4th of July to you all.

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Race to the Finish

5/30/2016

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As a kid growing up in Indiana, my family looked to Memorial Day weekend as the start of summer. Our family, immediate and extended, traveled 45 minutes from Fort Wayne to Crooked Lake in Columbia City, IN, where two sets of grandparents owned small lakefront cottages. We went up several times a year “to the lake,” but Memorial Day weekend was special. This was the weekend we spent three days with cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. This was where I learned the joy of Euchre, water skiing and pontoon boats. But I also learned that Memorial Day isn’t complete without car racing -- the Indy 500 to be exact. It was Indiana after all.

Therefore, this past weekend with my own immediate family, we sat down and watched a little car racing in the name of nostalgia. We landed on the Monaco Grand Prix. The race was actually pretty exciting, full of inclement weather and plenty of crashes. However, what stood out most to me was the phrase the commentators repeated multiple times as the drivers were crossing the finish line: “Race to the finish.” In context, the commentators were discussing an exciting moment in the last few minutes of the race when one driver passed a car on the last lap and only seconds before the finish line.

Their discussions about this last-minute surge and advice to “race to the finish” reminded me of my own daughter’s participation in the Los Alamitos All-District Track Meet this last week. My daughter represented Oak in the sixth grade 200m sprint. She does what many kids and even professional athletes do at a finish line -- she eased up. We’ve all seen those highlights programs where athletes start celebrating a little too early and end up losing the win. My daughter maintained her third place finish through the finish line, but had she “raced to the finish,” pushing at the end with just a momentary burst of everything she had left, she could have potentially overtaken the first and second place finishers.

In both cases, the Monaco Grand Prix and the Los Al Track Meet, I was left thinking about that “race to the finish” and what it means for education as we round that final turn before the end of the school year. For some, the end of this school year means just promotion to another grade level. For others, it means a promotion to another school. For others still, it means actual graduation from K-12 education.

Regardless the next step for each student, they all need to remember to “race to the finish.”

These end-of-the-school-year races aren’t for first place. They, rather, are races to finish strong. For your elementary kids, this might mean mastering their Special Person’s Day song and dance. For your middle school kids, this might mean finishing end-of-year culminating projects. For your high school kids, this probably means finals. We need to be sure to remind our kids that this is no time to ease up on the gas. They need to continue to work hard, fight to achieve, and remain diligent.

Because the end is where character is built.

When we’re tired, worn out, discouraged, or unmotivated, it’s those who persevere that shine. And those who shine feel accomplished. And through that accomplishment, character, self worth and confidence grows.

The finish isn’t an end, then. Rather, it’s a building block, and the stronger the block the more solid the foundation on which a life can be built.

Is the entire race important? Absolutely.

But it’s the “race to the finish” that builds futures.

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Use maxims to drive instruction

5/23/2016

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Nike lives by 11 guiding principles, their maxims: “It is our nature to innovate,” “The consumer decides,” “Evolve immediately,” and “Do the right thing” are just four of them. You can Google the rest; that’s how I found them all. Not only are they interesting, but they inspired me to take action.

I led a professional development meeting with my English department this week at school. The meeting was to refine our curriculum and embed more 21st century learning. We realized we couldn’t start this discussion until we’d decided on our English department’s maxims first.

So we set out to do just that. And we got to them by asking two guiding questions: “What are the fundamental principles that drive our instruction?” and “What type of English student do we want graduating from our department?” Honestly, how can a department of any discipline make decisions about end goals, assessments, mastery, homework, summer assignments, or even daily lessons without knowing what they stand for.

Philosophically who they are as teachers. And, most importantly, who they want the kids to become as learners and citizens of the world when the graduate.

As our brainstorming and planning day came to an end, I began to reflect on the experiences of my own children. I wonder if their teachers are clear on their purpose. If their teachers know the type of student they are trying to create. If their teachers talk about the driving principles of their discipline. Sometimes I wonder. When my kids come home with worksheets, packets, rote memorization tasks, and mindless regurgitation, I wonder if they feel as disengaged from the content as the work feels from real life.

I challenge you to ask, “What type of adult do your kids’s teachers’ activities intend to create?”

As a district, Los Alamitos is very clear about its brand. We ignite unlimited possibilities for students. We embrace the whole child. We build well-rounded students with a focus on activities, arts, athletics and academics. But how does this trickle down to each school and then, most importantly, into the classroom -- where the real work happens. It’s not enough to stand for the “what” without also building the “how.”

As a parent, I want us all to start asking the questions that get our district teachers to start asking questions of their practice. Why this assignment? Why this task? What’s the purpose? What type of adult is this activity building?
I also realized during my meeting this week that I want to more clearly identify the maxims for my family. What do we stand for? How do we make the tough decisions? How do we stay focused on what matters? As I type, I think about phrases I say over-and-over to my kids: “Anything worth doing is worth doing well,” “Effort unlocks your potential,” “Your level of success is completely up to you,” and “Find your own purpose.” I’m sure all of you have phrases that bounce off your walls on a regular basis, because as parents these are the principles we use to build our little adults. The same needs to apply in the classroom.

If every teacher worked to build little scientists or thinkers or innovators or independent learners -- whatever the courses’ maxims -- our kids would be engaged. They would be excited about their learning. They would be inspired to find their path.

It’s time for teaching and learning to be purposeful and meaningful every day with every assignment -- because the world can be changed one maxim at a time.

Just do it.

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The Future of Education

5/2/2016

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If I were to ask you to list the conditions for powerful learning, I’ll bet you would come away with a list very similar to mine, including: safe environment, personal investment, real world application, fun, relevance to students’ lives, social, interesting questions, positive environment, real audience, passion, autonomy, challenging, not time constrained.

I’ll also bet that in a room of 100 adults, not one of them would say that powerful learning comes with sitting in rows, one-sized curriculum, teacher controlled, standardized tests, emphasis on grades, no choice, lack of relevance, no real world application.

So why do we continue to run our schools the same way they’ve been run for over 100 years? Why do we continue to test, emphasize grades, restrict learning to the textbook, expect all kids to learn at the same rate and ability, and isolate content in 50-minute blocks?

I read an article this week published in the summer of 2014 by the Hawken Review written by the Head of Hawken School, D. Scott Looney. He spoke of the future of education -- the scary, daunting, exciting time in education where “we are now at a point where we must educate our children in what no one knew yesterday, and prepare our schools for what no one knows yet.”

We live in an extraordinary time in human history. We are witness to unprecedented economic, environmental, and political instability. At the same time, we are witness to incredible advances in technology, medicine, and communication. This paradox of fear and excitement poses a challenge to us all, young and old. And yet we continue to teach our children in an antiquated system of sameness, as if we need all our children learning ubiquitous content, at the same time, at the same rate, in isolation. Where is the power in this model?

I was thinking this week about the interviews we see on TV every year wherein some host stops random people on the street to ask them questions about some factoid we all “learned” in elementary, middle or high school. We laugh collectively as we watch the interviewee hem and haw before answering incorrectly. Do we laugh because we know, or do we laugh because we, ourselves, would answer incorrectly, as well?

These interviews simply reflect the truth that we forget most of what we “learn” in school. So why do we continue to teach and test content knowledge like this?

Powerful learning, the knowledge we remember, comes from moments in which we were completely immersed and engaged. True learning requires a personal interest in what’s being learned. The process of learning for the sake of a test just isn’t effective or purposeful. In fact, I argue that kids with access to the internet and technology are “learning” more outside of school than they are inside of school.

So what should schools be doing?

We need to be teaching kids how to USE content. Teaching kids how to think, collaborate, wonder. Teaching kids how to navigate ambiguity, complexity and interconnectedness.

Our kids need to find a passion that pushes them to “learn” what matters to them, so their learning can solve problems and impact the world -- or at least their own small corner of the world.

It’s time to rethink what we do on a school’s campus and why we do it.

The future of education? It’s going to require we ignite students’ curiosity and interests -- or we aren’t going to have much of a future at all.

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To and Through College

4/27/2016

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As our kids approach elementary, middle and high school graduation season, I find myself thinking about a prompt I was asked to respond to during a one-day workshop for educators presented by EPIC School Partnerships I attended a couple weeks ago: “How would you describe a student walking across the graduation stage who is ready to successfully transition and navigate the world beyond high school?”

A powerful question. A question that has stayed with me. A question that deserves our attention.

Before continuing to read, I challenge you to think for just a minute about the characteristics, skills, mindsets, and behaviors of a successful graduate for yourself. From your perspective. From your experience. From your reality. What does this look like for your kids? What did this look like for you? Who is this ideal student given what you know about the “real world”?

When I responded to this prompt, I framed it around what I know now that made me successful then. My off-the-cuff response of random phrases included traits such as: critical thinker, problem solver, confidence, ability to listen more than speak, comfort in living with ambiguity, can navigate arbitrary systems and jump through hoops, grit, self advocacy, not afraid to ask for help, independence, fortitude, open mindedness, self awareness, purpose driven. And that is only part of my list -- we had a lot of time to write.

What do I realize now about my list in looking back at it? What is glaringly missing? Content knowledge. Nowhere on my list did I mention, or even allude to, knowledge of nouns and verbs, the Pythagorean theorum, dates from historical events, the organization of the periodic table, or formats of business letters.

Please don’t misunderstand. As a teacher myself, I understand that knowledge is important. But as a citizen of the world and a functioning member of our society, I also understand that what has made me successful in navigating my life didn’t come from memorization or drill-and-kill. I’ll bet most of you would agree. And I’ll bet many of your lists look like mine.

My question is this: How does our school system ensure our graduates will successfully transition and navigate the world?

This time I’m going to stop the question early and eliminate the “beyond high school” portion. Not because it isn’t important, but because I want us to consider the question for ALL our “graduating” kids.

Kindergartners need to be able to successfully transition to and navigate first grade with its bigger playgrounds and longer hours.

Fifth grade graduates need to be able to successfully transition to and navigate middle school with its bell schedules and increased homework load.

Eighth grade graduates need to be able to successfully transition to and navigate high school and its myriad demands.

And then our senior graduates -- the toughest transition of them all.

Are our schools doing what it takes to ensure success with these key transitions year-over-year? Do the classrooms reflect these needs? Are our teachers building students who will lead the world? Or are our students being tortured with arcane grading systems and irrelevant assessments that beat down rather than elevate?

In addition to our celebrations of college acceptance letters, internships, and scholarships, I am ready for our district to share the data that matters even more -- the data that reports on our alumni. Did they actually make it to college? Did they stay in school? Did they graduate? Are they employed? And how does that data breakdown by demographics? Are we serving the needs of all our students? Have we actually educated students who are successfully transitioning and navigating the world beyond?

If not, what are we doing system wide to fix it?

I want our leaders to be vulnerable. I want our leaders to admit we have potential gaps and room for improvement. I want education to reflect the needs of this new generation of kids -- our kids.

It’s time we ask the tough questions, see thoughtful reflection from our educators, and have collaborative discussions between our schools and communities to ensure we fulfill the contract we made with these kids back in kindergarten. The contract that promises if they participate in the system as we’ve designed, then their education is the foundation for their success.

Let’s revisit our end of the contract to ensure our kids will find their best-fit successes “to and through college” -- and ultimately beyond.

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The Best 7 Hours

4/18/2016

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I attended a College and Career Readiness workshop this past week facilitated by EPIC School Partnerships, an organization representing a new approach for improving student outcomes, grounded in over a decade of research by David Conley, author of “Getting Ready for College, Careers, and the Common Core.”

As hard as it is for me, or any classroom teacher for that matter, to spend time away from the classroom and leave our charges in the hands of an albeit qualified and well-intentioned substitute, I took advantage of the opportunity to participate in this professional development day. And like most PD days, I walked away with something that will change my teaching for the better. I love to learn. I love to be exposed to new ideas. I love to sit in a room with other educators and discuss our practice. It’s transformative. This day was no different.

“The best 7 hours” -- this is the phrase from the conference that resonated with me.

In fact, I picked my son up from school after the workshop and asked him, “How was school?” This question sound familiar? We all ask it when our kids come home from school. From my daugher, the answer is always filled with highs, lows, laughter and stories. For my son, the answer is always, “What do you think? It was school.” His answer comes with snark, sarcasm, bitterness. Granted, he is a teenage boy, so he isn’t nearly as verbose as my daughter, but, nevertheless, it makes me sad he doesn’t enjoy his time there.

This day, I pushed for a little more information. I asked, “Is school ever the best 7 hours of your day?” He looked at me and rolled his eyes. I continued. I shared with him that this question came from my day’s experience at a workshop, and the presenter reminding us -- the teachers -- that we should strive for this for our students. He responded, “Why would they do that?” More snark. He’s a tough audience.

Our kids today are part of a new generation. I know, we hear this all the time. But this workshop forced me to think about what this means? And it dawned on me that this “new generation” is one that can’t even compare to my own. Whereas we have lived through the birth of technology innovation and have learned, and potentially even embraced, it as an add-on to our lives, our kids are tech-innate. Technology IS their lives. They know nothing else. They don’t have any idea what it’s like to have to go to the library to get an answer to something. When my kids don’t know something, they “Google it.” Their world is information rich; it always has been. Since day 1. The learning of knowledge for them isn’t the end product, because knowledge is everywhere.

Our world is no longer about what we know -- it’s about what we DO with what we know.

Our kids today want to DO. They want to use this abundance of knowledge. The want to create, to invent, to act. We all know they still need to “learn” in order to “do,” but the learning no longer has to be straight facts; rather, it can be patterns, creativity, collaboration, higher-level thinking processes, strategies, skills -- imagine, even, the power of their learning how to be curious.

If these were the traits of our local schools for EVERY PERIOD, EVERY DAY, then I can guarantee my son would love school. He would be doing. He would be active in his learning. He would see the connection of the content to his life; he would see relevancy and purpose. He would begin to think about his future and actually start designing it.

This isn’t a teacher issue -- it’s a system issue. And a system is hard to change, but it’s going to have to if we are going to inspire our kids for life beyond high school -- college, career, community -- and to inspire them to dream for a better world.

My hope is that our schools begin thinking about the seven hours they have and begin dreaming big. Remember the old KFWB mantra -- “Give us 24 minutes, and we’ll give you the world”?

Imagine the power of having seven hours -- the world would only be the beginning.

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May 1st Looms Ahead

4/11/2016

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May 1st is right around the corner, and if you’re the parent of a high school senior, then these next couple weeks are going to be fraught with indecision, anxiety and excitement.

On May 1st, kids around the country finalize their college decision and submit their SIR (Statement of Intent to Register) -- the decision a student unfortunately feels not only defines the rest of his life, but also his identity and self worth.

I wish our kids all had the wisdom to know that college is simply another step in life’s journey, not an end to it.
My thoughts this week are prompted by a student-created comic strip published in my school’s monthly student newspaper. The comic was a simple, horizontal, four-panel strip. Each panel represented one of each of the four years of high school: freshman, sophomore, junior, senior. In each panel is simply a girl sitting at a table, but with each panel her facial expression changes: in panel one she’s smiling, in panel two she’s sad, in panel three she’s crying, and in panel four she’s completely distraught.

What’s most telling in the comic is the thought bubble in each of the first three panels. The first panel’s bubble lists Ivy League universities: Harvard, Yale, Cornell, Princeton and Brown. The second panel’s bubble: USC, UCLA, Berkeley and Duke. The third panel’s bubble: Cypress, CSULB, Riverside and Merced. The final panel, wherein the girl is having a complete meltdown, does not have a bubble at all; she’s too overwhelmingly lost. As her college choices change and evolve, to what she clearly sees as choices less prestigious or renowned, her self worth seems to evaporate as well.

Satire? I’m sure.

Truth? I’m absolutely sure.

The comic makes me so sad. Have we really become a society where our kids believe they are worthless unless they attend an Ivy League university? I’m in no way suggesting that these prestigious universities aren’t worthwhile goals. I am suggesting, however, that attending one of these schools doesn’t define a child.

I want to remind us all to help our kids realize that self worth and identify aren’t defined by the college they attend, because college choice is dependent on dozens of factors: finances, declared major, distance from home, environment, weather, family, readiness, etc.

What really matters is how our kids embrace the experience once they arrive on campus -- regardless the school.
Our kids need to use college to discover themselves, get involved, grow up, find independence, help the community, volunteer to help others, decide on a direction for their future, travel abroad, get curious about life, find a passion, build friendships, master new subjects, play a new sport, become more culturally aware, get political, and, sometimes even, fall in love.

My point? These things can be done on any campus. And it’s these experiences that define character, build identity and create self worth -- traits developed through life itself, not assigned based on the college name on a diploma. All our kids are worthy. They all have something unique to offer the world. We need to help them see the bigger picture.

We need to stop celebrating just a select few; we need to celebrate them all.

May 1st isn’t a day to judge -- it’s a day to celebrate the start of each child’s unique journey.

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Why are kids so stressed?

2/22/2016

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‘Tis the season of college acceptance letters -- the culmination of twelve years of blood, sweat, and tears for both kids and parents. My question for the week stems from the stress created by those twelve years. Has it all been worth it?

We have friends whose kids are brilliant, self-motivated, high achievers. And I teach students like this every day at my school. They are inspired, driven and believe they know their path. They want to take as many AP classes as possible, don’t accept anything less than A’s, and are convinced success will only be attained through attendance at an Ivy League university. I also know and work with kids who aren’t this driven; they struggle with self esteem, confidence and achievement. Regardless the type of student, our culture has developed an accepted practice that with all kids come parents who continually push, don’t settle for average and set exceptionally high expectations. Is this undue stress necessary?

Educators are finding that this relentless expectation of perfection is creating a generation of kids who are overly stressed, depressed, and, in the most extreme cases, suicidal.

What are we doing wrong?

Here are my few thoughts about how we can all help students lead less stressful lives.

Find a Balance: I get that the world is becoming more competitive. I also get that not every student is prepared or capable of taking five AP classes in one year. For every hour of an AP class, a student should be preparing an additional two hours at home. There aren’t even enough hours in a day for a student to attack this workload. This also then assumes a child is good at everything -- a brilliant mathematician, insightful scientist, a natural writer and an exceptional historian. Wouldn’t a child’s time be better spent pursuing extra-curricular activities to cultivate other passions: sports, the arts, photography, robotics, friendships, animals, philanthropy, etc. I will argue any day that these activities will ultimately create the most well-rounded, balanced child.

Know the End Game: Let’s extrapolate the stressful school schedule from above. The child takes and passes five or six AP classes. The college awards college credit. The student begins college as a sophomore. Yeah! Or is it? This simply means the child has only three years to find his right fit career. Only three years to enjoy the college life. Only three years until he has to enter the workforce. To what end? To begin the grind of life earlier? I’m definitely sure I wouldn’t recommend that path to my younger self.

There is More Than One Path: How many of us knew exactly what we wanted to study in college? I took an informal poll at work this week during a meeting, and only one-fifth of us are currently working in the field of our first college-declared major. This is normal. In fact, it’s expected. That’s why colleges encourage kids to take General Education courses in the first two years, so they can explore their options. And for those of us who aren’t where we thought we’d be as adults, would an Ivy League education have changed the outcome? Life paths aren’t always just a linear A to B. Most of us meander around the alphabet for quite a while before landing on a perfect fit career. And regardless the college, success is still attainable -- ALL levels of success.

I’m not suggesting as parents we stop raising the bar, stop having high expectations, stop encouraging our kids to be the best they can be, stop pushing them to want to excel.

I am suggesting, however, that we build in some opportunities for them to discover their own purpose of education. Their own passion. Their own way.

I want all students, my own kids included, to give effort and show grit. I want them to work hard. I want them to push to be great.

But I also want their stress to motivate -- not destroy.

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Are parents too involved?

2/8/2016

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Probably like the rest of you, I spent Sunday with neighbors, friends, and family watching The Big Game. I love these gatherings: good food, good camaraderie and good conversation. I especially enjoyed this weekend, because it gave me a chance to run a question by the group.

Over the course of the last couple weeks, I’ve found myself thinking quite a bit about my role and responsibility in my own kids’ education.

This group of friends happens to be a few years ahead of me and my husband when it comes to child rearing. Their children have all graduated high school, a few are still in college, others are recent college grads entering the real world, and the oldest are married with, or almost with, young children of their own. These friends have become more than neighbors over the last twelve years; they are trusted advisers who tell it to us straight. And I was ready for a little straight-talk on Sunday.

I asked them a simple question about their upbringings: “Were your parents involved in your education when you were in middle and high school?”

Without exception, they all said that their parents were “hands off” when it came to school. No parent called teachers. No parent checked grades on a regular basis. No parent harped about getting homework done or questioned grades on tests. Some of them even said that they weren’t sure their parents ever saw a report card. We all had the same experience -- parents who set expectations, modeled acceptable behavior, worked hard, and left the burden of handling education in the hands of their kids. Our parents didn’t micro-manage us. They didn’t hover. They let us navigate our own education, make mistakes, and figure it out. And we all did.

How and when did society shift? When did the responsibility of educational ownership shift from the kids to the parents? When did parents decide that their role in their child’s education was to manage it -- every day, for every assignment, with every minute detail.

As parents we’ve become obsessed with ever-present online grades, missing and incomplete assignments, student/teacher relationships, curriculum, semester grades, course selections. We don’t even let our kids walk or ride their bikes to school anymore.

Do you remember your parents ever doing ANY of these things?

Of course they didn’t. They left the responsibility for our education in our hands.

So when I sit in a staff meeting at school, and we talk about all the interventions, accommodations, and modifications we make for this generation of students, as well as all the opportunities we create for parent and community involvement, I wonder why.

Would this generation of kids, those we’ve at some point all found irritatingly entitled, spoiled, and unmotivated, be better off if we hadn’t been so involved? Did we created this monster ourselves?

Would our kids be better off if we backed off? If we placed the responsibility of school back on their shoulders? If we intentionally allowed kids to succeed by their own devices? I’m more and more convinced treating our kids as our own parents treated us would not only ensure a next generation of confident children who have learned how to navigate life, but a next generation of children who have discovered that effort and attitude reap untold rewards.

Let’s trust we’ve laid the right foundation and believe in the strength of our kids again -- so they can succeed in their own “Big Game” called life.

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Knowledge versus experience

Ruminations on the 4th

Race to the Finish

Use maxims to drive instruction

The Future of Education

To and Through College

The Best 7 Hours

May 1st Looms Ahead

Why are kids so stressed?

Are parents too involved?

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